


Turn Away

by Azzish



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Cancer, F/F, Fashion Designer Bianca, Lesbian AU, Rock Star Adore, haven't decided yet, possible major character death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-04-22 00:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14297169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azzish/pseuds/Azzish
Summary: Request from TumblrInspired by TOP cover of CancerBianca didn't need help. She did not need help. The sentence became a mantra. She was fine. She did not need help. She could get through this on her own.





	1. Part One

Bianca didn't need help. She did not need help. The sentence became a mantra. She was fine. She did not need help. She could get through this on her own. 

She had repeated the sentiments daily since she got the news. She woke up with an aching body and repeated it. She was fine. She had repeated it after the Doctor gave her the news. She could do this on her own. She had repeated them when she had to go in for her first treatment. She didn't need anyone's help. She had repeated it as she crouched over the toilet, dry heaving senselessly since she couldn't eat anyways. She did not need help. She had repeated it with tears in her eyes as her hair began falling out. She was fine. She repeated it as she shaved her head since there was no point in trying to pin it under the new wig she had started wearing anymore. She could get through this. She could get through the Cancer. She could get through the Chemo Treatments. She could beat this all on her own. No one needed to know she was weak. 

The news had dazed her. She had sat in silence as the Doctor went over the specifics with her. Breast Cancer. Stage Three. Several Options. Radiation possibly ineffective. Chemo more likely to help. Small bits of the information filed themselves away inside her brain, but Bianca herself was racing a hurricane in a completely different way than she had ever experienced before. 

She had gotten second opinions, third opinions. and then the Chemo had started. Her mouth was dry, she would drink more water and laugh loudly with Courtney and Willam at lunch. She would call Adore from her touring and giggle and sigh and whisper words of love across oceans through phone lines. She didn't tell her girlfriend about it. She didn't need to be worried. 

When Adore came back from touring, Bianca was already wearing a wig full time. She tried to sleep in them and woke up with Adore next to her in a panic to make sure it hadn't fallen off in the night. Eventually, she made any and every excuse to not have Adore stay the night, saying she had too much work to do, she was too tired, she wasn't feeling well, though the last was almost always true. 

She missed her Dorey desperately, but she told herself it was for the best that her Rock Star Partner didn't have to worry about her small seamstress while she was trying to perform. It would be over eventually anyway. And then they could make up lost time. 

So Bianca receded into herself. she focused on her work so she could forget how much her bones seemed to ache with no reprieve. She focused on her dogs, she focused on cleaning every surface in her apartment until she was too exhausted to do anything other than sleep. Then the day came when she woke up from another exhaustion induced nap to a text:

Dorey: i think we need to talk.


	2. Part Two

Adore had run to hug Bianca when she had finally gotten back from Europe. Being a famous Punk Rock Singer/Songwriter with an international audience put a lot of strain on a relationship, but for Bianca, anything was possible. 

The second her arms were around her petite girlfriend, however, she noticed how thin she was. Bianca was always compact and slim, but she was healthily so. Adore could feel her ribs beneath the thin fabric of her turtleneck, which was not healthy in the slightest. But Adore filed that away for the moment. She was back with Bianca, and there was nothing more she wanted to do then go to dinner, maybe fuck and pass out cuddling closely to the Woman she loved most in the world. 

They had cuddled, with matching onesie and fuzzy socks, eaten a pizza, watched The Labyrinth as per Adore's request, and when the kissing became more than just a casual makeout Bianca had stopped them. Saying she was too tired for anything else tonight. Which was understandable.

They had done a lot that day, the Apartment was spotless, not that it wasn't often. But it seemed extra clean to Adore. And for how limitless Bianca's energy seemed, Adore knew her partner better than that. Bianca used to work herself to exhaustion back when Adore and her had started dating. 

Over the years Adore had helped her realize how unhealthy that was, and together they had started a sleep schedule. But when Adore toured she occasionally fell back to her old habits. That was probably all it was. 

What was completely unusual however, was how unceremoniously and very urgently Adore was all but escorted out of the apartment by the little firecracker who owned her heart. She had been so startled by the push out, and abrupt ending of the night, she hadn't even managed to give Bianca the gift she had gotten her. It was still in Adore's bag, wrapped up and forgotten. 

Adore called an Uber to take her to her own apartment, completely silent as she thought about Bianca's urgency. She had barely even kissed her goodnight. What happened? While Adore was abroad what happened to Bianca. And why wasn't she telling Adore about it? Her plush slightly overdrawn lips were fixed in a pout as she climbed out of the Uber and made her way into her apartment, theory's racing around her brain like mice in a cage. Did Adore do something that made Bianca upset with her? Was Bianca legitimately just super tired and hadn't slept well like Adore sometimes did on tour when Bianca wasn't there? Did Bianca get news from a family member that was upsetting or alarming? Did Bianca find someone else? Someone more accessible? Someone prettier than Adore? Someone smarter? Someone who deserved someone as intelligent and beautiful as Bianca? No. Adore shook the idea from her head. There was no way the last one was the answer. 

She got inside, dropped her things, and stripped on her way to the shower, the ideas in her head were getting slowly louder the more she thought about it. Even the water soaking her tour-exhausted body wasn't enough to silence them . She scrubbed herself clean and rinsed the suds, before climbing out and pulling a towel around her body. Her house was so cold when she was naked and wet, she shivered slightly before heading to her room to get into some sort of sleepwear. 

She slipped into an oversized band t-shirt and a pair of boxers and then slid under her sheets. In her normal routine she grabbed her phone and dialed Bianca for a facetime. When they spent nights alone they would call each other and facetime until one of them fell asleep, and with Adore's growing anxiety she also wanted some answers. A few moments of waiting for Bianca to answer, like she always did but instead the call was declined. 'Willow is unavailable for Facetime' 

Adore's frown deepened. Of course... 

Time passed and Bianca became more and more distant. Soon they were hardly seeing each other due to Bianca always being, "Way too Busy" or "Too Tired tonight fishstick." Excuse after excuse after worn out excuse, until Adore was almost sure that there was someone else. Bianca was the last person Adore would ever imaging cheating on her, but there was almost no further explanation for her behavior. Adore had been certain that She and Bianca would get married, settle down and have kids together, but of course Adore had drifted too far and Bianca had found someone better. But then why was she dragging Adore along like a sad balloon instead of cutting the string and letting her fly away? That was very unlike her B. Bianca was almost always the first person to burn a bridge if someone hurt her or she moved on. Dragging out their facade of a relationship seemed completely out of character. 

But Adore still wasn't sure. She wouldn't be sure unless Bianca told her the words herself. So it was as Adore was sitting at their normal cafe at the normal time they would meet for lunch, being stood up an flaked on again, she pulled out her phone and sent the text: i think we need to talk.


End file.
